When I showed this website to my wife, I realised more explanations were needed, lest I risk raising false expectations.
I am not a historian, a philosopher, or a writer. I am maybe a combatant.
Therefore, my posts won’t come out like great historical-philosophical insights on the common-man’s life or the policeman’s. Nor will they be literary essays on the combat-history-philosophy relationship. I write, first of all, to learn.
No, that’s a lie. That comes second place. In first place, perhaps I should just steel from Dostoyevsky:
“…it’s hardly literature so much as a corrective punishment. Why, to tell long stories, showing how I have spoiled my life through morally rotting in my corner, through lack of fitting environment, through divorce from real life, and rankling spite in my underground world…”
Truly, this is a catharsis. And like all catharses it begins in tragedy. But like all catharses it doesn’t happen at once. It is a process of change, of purification through confrontation, of learning through contemplation. Such is my secondary yet most conspicuous objective: learning.
In time, I believe I’ll talk more about my life and its lessons. But today I’m just beginning the process. I haven’t yet learned the lessons. I’m still the greatest ignorant: that who doesn’t know himself. That’s why I’m here. And that’s why I don’t have much to say right now; and SO MUCH to study.
Most posts will sure be dry, rough and straight to the point. The point will be to transcribe the knowledge I amass every day into five-hundred-word chunks. This knowledge will come from books, combat, and life as a whole. But much more from History and Philosophy books, especially at first.
Think it through: I’ve been alive for 41 years and a combatant for 17, and until yesterday I hadn’t written ANYTHING about it. Sure there must be some kind of block, or at least some difficulty here. It’s much easier to read a book chapter and summarise it, even if in blatant evasion.
But in this way I, at least, begin. And if I endure it I’ll have accomplished something of value in my life.
Now, to make it even clearer, that’s roughly how it’s going to happen:
- I read a philosophy book and bluntly summarise it (or a portion) with no introduction whatsoever and a reference to the source;
- I decide to read a collection of history books and to summarise every book or chapter;
- I read something, say, about World War II which reminds me of combat and I write my lucubrations;
- I go through an interesting combat situation and write about it;
- I remember something I’ve been through, decide to introspect and write;
- I hear some news that piss me off and I begin to grumble about it;
- I have any disconnected figment of thought and develop it;
- Late Patrick Swayze (while still the “Ghost”) possesses me and I begin writing love letters to Demi Moore;
I think you got it: DON’T – EXPECT – MUCH.